this side of the mirror
I believe that I am a sound autistic/artist body. Slowly and slowly,
year by year, working with music to dancing, I become more and more
sensitive to sounds. It was a technical training during years…
I can really listen to each detail that I have in a composition, not
just music but small and delicate sounds, I used to dance with more
unusual compositions created with this kind of sounds.
Sounds can enter in my body so easily, and they can disturb me a lot,
but in the past I had authorized these sounds to enter…and now
it is so difficult to close the door, possibly I lose the key.
Sounds for me, sometimes, bring a lot information, new information for
my body, and they can change my equilibrium…On many occasions
I really did not want to listen to them, but they already entered…
Last night we had a sound performance of Caroline and Luca. I stayed
with my body overthere. I was a litlle bit tired of the day activities,
it means, that my body had enough new information for a day…We
had been working in a brainstorming about our laboratory ideas after
reading the Sybille manuscript. And we had a lot of new ideas to make
scenes, linking different kinds of art.
So I could listen to the first music and stay with my eyes sometimes
closed, but in the second music I could not stay with my eyes closed
anymore, it means, if I stay with closed eyes the sounds enter more
and deeply, so I was tired and I wanted, I needed less information,
so I just opened my eyes, and then I have other kind of information
entering, as the visual spatial information, I can also make some small
movements with my hands or legs to help me. It is a way that I used
to do, if I want less information.
As an autistic person, many times I really need less contact with sounds,
and sometimes I really think about if I will be a deaf person, in this
so chaotic and full of sound world I will be happier. I would love to
have more a simple acoustic and sound world. I really desire to listen
less…it means I could feel less…my body could feel less,
sounds always make my body shaking…
I used to live in Brazil many months in a year, and it is a litlle bit
complicated for my body to listen so many sounds, because I live in
such a noise city, with such noisy neigborhs…when I listened to
such hard sounds my whole body vibrated, but my neighbors did not understand
this kind of thing…it is normal to make noise for them…
For my sound autism I really think that the solution is to be deaf,
or also to die, living in a world without sounds it will be great for
ist Interaktions-Kunst? Ein Manifest.